8.1 The Skill

Remembering how you fell in love is one of the best antidotes to apathy you have going for you.

Telling that story to someone else brings those feelings back, often as fresh as they were years go.
Invite each couple in the group to tell their story, in as much detail as you can fit into an evening. Talk about the places, and feelings, the bumps and the ah-has. Be sure to have a box of tissues handy.



8.3 The Story

Stars have long been the mailbox for wishes about finding the person of one's dreams. I like that it aims our attention heavenward. There is a delightful children's book called Starlight Bride by Paul Owen Lewis that describes a prince and young woman who both ask God to lead them through the brightness of a star to true marriage love. 

I have heard of deals people make with God to show them a sign of who to marry. My own husband had one. He and God had an understanding... if John found a woman who felt the same way as he did about why babies die, and how it fits between providence and freedom, he would marry her. 

We were driving in my white '65 Mustang when he asked me, back in 1979, what I thought about such things. I launched into how I had wrestled the pieces together in my mind, and finished as we were waiting at a red light on Route 202. He said nothing. 

I thought, "He thinks I am stupid."

He thought, "I have to marry her."

It was several months before John made good on his promise to God, and proposed, and longer still until he told me about The Deal.

For us it was a wonderful way to feel led and yet free at the same time. Thank you, Lord.


8.4 Activity with Your Children

Borrow Starlight Bride from the library and read it with your children. While you are at it, get For the Love of Autumn, by Patricia Polacco. In it the main character articulates her own conditions under which she will know her future husband when she sees him. Then be sure to tell your children your own love story, with pictures and all the details you can remember. It will nourish them like nothing else. 

8.5 Prayer

Oh Lord,
Thank you for leading us together. Thank you for protecting our sense of freedom too. You want us to feel as if we chose our partner, and still we want to know that you have prepared us for each other in myriad ways.
Amen.